Oil and Hurricanes: A Natural Substitute for Fire Works

Let me begin with as little ceremony as I possibly can, since I’ve been gone out of the blogsphere so long. Everyone knows about the Great Oil Spill of BP and how it is killing birds and ruining vacations. (Except ours, because it is far enough east that we can avoid it.) I mean, take a look at the sky view pictures! See the beautiful orange and purple hues. If we poured that much paint in the water, it would cost a fortune! Now, now, I understand, and we all tear our garments for the poor birds… well not really. I’m too busy feeling sorry for the guys who were on the rig when it blew. But, yes, birds dying and being dyed is not a good thing. My point that I’ve been hinting at is this, stop arguing on whose fault it was and start enjoying it or cleaning it. There, I said it. I’m really long winded I suppose.

Let us examine my vague arsenal of half-facts. One, an oil-rig blew up. Two, there was a pipe sticking out of the ground for our convenience. Three, the oil WAS in a localized location, and it was highly possible to burn most of it off right there, as it was recommended for us to do. Four, environuts said we could not burn because it would hurt the environment. Five, the blame game began and oil is still spilling out of the pipe. I know, it sounds like I’m in the blame game and am against the environuts, but that is not so. I was against them before this ever happened. It was not their fault the rig blew up. As a matter of fact, that is my point. It was old, it shifted, and it blew. A tragedy happened and we are left with a gorgeous hue of orange on the blue and black water. You will pardon me if I sound flippant, or not if you must hate me. So what do we do if we don’t blame anybody? Who will get stuck with the bill to clean it up if blame is not placed? I personally still think we should light a match and call it even. If a hurricane ever came through, it would be the most awesome firework display the world has ever seen. However, if that is voted down, then I say we all split the bill: Mexico, America, and Britain. If we can’t agree to clean up our own boating lake, then how can we agree to do anything? Oh, wait, we can’t. We can’t even agree on what the world “natural” means. “Natural,” as far as I can tell, means from the earth, raw and untouched by man. Well, here you go my friends, and as soon as that hurricane comes through, we can have a natural wonder on the forth of July. I’ll bring the beer if you bring the lighter.

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