I think we can all remember back to the day where those cheesy commercials would come out with some famous cartoon character asking kids not to smoke. “Don’t Smoke” had been the mantra to our children since my grandfather’s time. I think it’s making a comeback, and I have evidence.

Exhibit A: Our president has been fighting the cigarette habit and has been winning for nine months.

B: The News has been eating it up.

C. Castro smokes cigars.

I can just see the new commercial with our commander in chief asking kids not to be communist dictators, but peace loving, non-smoking Americans. Never mind the fact that Castro has been in power for about fifty years. Dang, he must be in his eighties. And has anyone seen him without a huge, Cuban cigar stemming from his teeth? No. But then again, those are better than cigarettes. Nasty little buggers.

All this to say, don’t settle for the cheap stuff, go for the good. If you want to make it a habit, the best way to slow it down is to make it expensive. That is why it is hard to get drunk from good whiskey. You can buy a bottle of the cheap paint thinner for about as much as one shot of the sweet ambrosia that melts my heart.

Naw, I’m just kidding. Only the love of my life, Hannah, melts my heart. But I digress, please kids, don’t smoke cigarettes. If you are male and want to be like C.S. Lewis, smoke a good pipe with some beer around the fireplace, or in a decent pub. Don’t be like Mr. President, who now has to try to quit because he smokes the stuff hobos are made of.

Stupid journalist peanuts.

Ah, here’s something. I see our President has “historically” went on the “Daily Show with Jon Stewart.” Comedy Central? That has jokes upon jokes upon jokes built into merely the fact he went, let alone what was actually said. This sounds too juicy to pass up.

…

Wow, that was… revolting. How did allow him up there? It’s like watching George Washington high kick in a mistress camp.

Okay, so we have our Commander in Chief, our leader, our Mr. President, get laughed at and ridiculed on stage as he tries to talk politics for the first half. The second half of it is just applauding his brilliance as I stopped laughing and as the comedy stopped pumping. How am I supposed to enjoy comedy in respectful subjects and respect a man while I laugh at him? This was wrong and amusing on so many levels that it registered in my brain as a nightmare after eating a three day old burrito, re-re-re fried. Oh, my stomach virus. It hurts so bad.

The only reason I can think they allowed this is because they thought it would get a few laughs. It did, but they were painful. I mean, hey, I laugh when a retarded kid slips and falls from an ice-slick too, but I also feel like I should go to hell afterward. I don’t want to laugh at our President, I want him to be respectable. I want our President to do what he is meant to do, to fulfill his role as our leader. Yes, he can let loose sometimes, but not become the object of ridicule. This bothers me to no end, so I better make an ending up.

Funny how I had to dig that up when the biggest thing on the news was the oil spill. It’s almost as if they used it for a smoke screen to perk our interests. Hmm.

Anyways, that’s all I have to say. Don’t talk to me about oil, I don’t care. Eat it and like it.