And now on to the actual issue. I am assuming you are an American if you are reading this. I will also assume you have some Christian values at least since you are reading this blog. Let me cut to the chase. Americans as a whole are proud to be an American. Even you will admit to this, whoever you are. My question is not if you should be or not, but how prideful you should be or not. Yes, I am an American. I like the fact I live here. Good people. Good food. But where is the line drawn between Nationalism (Nazi) and Patriotism (you like George Washington). Let’s find out.

Okay, so we can agree that if you believe your norms are perfect and without flaw, you are a nationalist, right? But is that all there is to it? As long as you think you have problems, are we safe from the label of the swastika? I don’t thinks so, and neither do you. Is it about race, then? Well, then all we have to do is like black people! Problem solved. What? No? Well, what else can Nationalism mean?

I bring out my Romanian alter ego to the stand. Ahem. (Que “Godfather” music.) In my homeland, we have a proverb, “If my goat dies, so does my neighbor’s.” It means, in basics, that it does not matter if I have problems, or if I am a jerk, or if I am falling apart. As long as everyone else is worse off than I am, I feel better about myself.

So, if you (I) say is true, Nationalism is all about my nation being better than all the other backward, third-world countries.

That’s right.

Uh oh, we have a problem then. We are the greatest country in the world. We know more about God, being founded in Christianity, we have more money, we have more freedom… I mean we got it all! That’s why everyone comes here.

Everyone?

Yeah, that’s right. So what’s Patriotism, if not national pride, smarty britches?

I am proud to be a Romanian, but that has nothing to do with Romania’s standing. It only means I love my neighbors, and will do everything in my power raise them up, and not tear them down. To go to another country and brag about how you are not starving to the hungry… that is not Patriotism. To say you have a better understanding of Theology to another Repenter across the sea, that is not Patriotism. Sometimes admitting you were in the wrong, learning from other cultures to raise yours up is Patriotism. All Nationalism does is tear down, a patriot raises up, in love and Christian Brotherhood. For we are all brothers in the faith, and comrades in the Kingdom of Heaven.

You (I) know something? You’re (I’m) right. I never thought of it that way before.

That’s because you (I) are a stupid American.

That hurt.

Is that so bad? Maybe. It’s just that I catch myself starting to write these great posts in my head and feel guilty because it’s not spur of the moment authentic. But then, of course, planned writing isn’t bad. It’s good¹. And spontaneous writing can be good, too.

One of the bad things about this blog planning, though, is that I imagine myself writing these great posts and realize that they’re not always true, or I’m just trying to sound smart, or I want comment kudos. Being smart and getting comments isn’t at all bad – I’m just greedy and that’s bad.

What I really want is an honest, open style that doesn’t come across as terrible for being truthful and humble. Goodness, it’s human nature to try to seem more than we are, even to ourselves. Truth of the matter is, I’m not a great (as in epic, famous) writer. Please don’t let me take that to either extreme: I don’t want to be prideful about being humble and I don’t want to be prideful.

I remember when I wrote a terrible review of Paul Comon’s book on composition in photography – it sucked because I was trying to sound good and it came across as canned, tacky and cheesy. I rewrote it a little more honestly and I think it came out much better. I’m not a professional literature critic; why should I try?

And on that note, I’ve been thinking a little bit in this vein about art. Bad art does try to come across as high and mighty and make its author important and ends up being unintelligible and just dumb. Good art works hard and makes a beautiful thing with true depth. As critics of art, even amateur ones, I wonder if we sometimes try to read into art more meaning and depth than is there – obfuscate the matter with big words and complex ideas and try to sounds smart – maybe it’s bad art, maybe it’s good art that’s just not that deep; I think it could go either way.

Afterword: I’ve taken to kind of stream-of-consciousnessing in my Moleskine and am tempted to post some of these ramblings. They are somewhat spur of the moment (and riddled with crazy grammar because of it) but I’m trying to be honest with what I’m thinking and explore life and God’s world. Alright, take a deep breath, and then remember I’m probably not as sincere as I just sounded. Narcissism (def. 1), remember?