rant – a broken mold

Striking a Nerve, or, Love and Marriage

Caleb Blume — Mon, 13 Dec 2010 18:44:33 +0000

(Disclaimer: I do not own this photo! I found it on the internet, just like everyone else, so don’t sue me, please. It’s from qwickstep.com, FYI. [Editor’s note: replaced with a bigger version ripped from daylife.com. Heh.])

I think I want to smash a hornets’ nest. Yes, I think I do, so let me step into the room with a statement that will knock reformers’ socks off. Why is courtship so great when arranged marriage is everywhere in the Bible?

Oh, yes! I said it! You have no idea how long I’ve built the courage to say that. As soon as I thought of it, it took me at least fifteen seconds of going back and forth before I decided to bring it up. A new record of hesitation for me.

Let’s go with the first marriage, Adam and Eve. God created them and said to be fruitful and multiply. Pretty intense stuff, huh? But didn’t they have a choice? What if they only wanted two kids? Could they afford more? Well, considering the first two we hear about were male, and one killed the other, it doesn’t look like that would have worked in the long term. I’m just saying is all.

Let’s look at another one. Isaac got married. Yeah, I like Isaac. You know, Abraham’s son who got married to a girl whom the servant chose with a sign from God. Her parents seemed pleased with the deal of payment.

But what about all those horror stories we see in movies of aristocrats giving their daughters away to jerk princes just to make peace between those countries? Doesn’t that make them a commodity? Does this not dehumanize them? What about love? Don’t they have to love each other before they get married?

Where is that in Scripture? Yes, it commands husbands to love their wives, but if they are husband and wife already, does this mean they loved one another before hand? I’m not saying it is a bad thing for them to love one another before hand, but hey, God set the institution up, so shouldn’t He have set up a clearer system?

Ruth and Boaz chose one another, sort of… not really. They didn’t have a real courtship period either. Never mind, bad example for a counter point.

Ah! Here we go. Jacob and Rachel… and Leah… hmmm, interesting. He was put through a fourteen year courtship period. Doesn’t this mean that courtship is the better way to go?

Discounting the fact that the marriage of the three caused a civil war in Israel for a huge part of its history, what if only Rachel got hitched to Jacob. Isn’t this a Biblical example anyway? Only if the idol stealing Rachel did was just as Biblical. Just because it happens in Scripture by sinning people doesn’t make it Biblical.

Samson chose Delilah! Oops, never mind…

Um… we don’t know if Joseph chose Mary… at fourteen… but we don’t want to go there, because then we would have to say the age of fourteen is appropriate for marriage for young ladies. (It is, by the way.)

Uh… um… ah… oh… It is not UNBiblical. Neither is dating, right? My parents dated and are now a healthy Christian family. They said they wouldn’t let us ever date, but hey. That’s right, my and my sister’s significant others were chosen by the parents of both sides and presented to us, not the other way around. Gasp! I’m a freak! A sappy-happy freak, no less. Can it be abused? Yes, fathers can force daughters into an unhappy marriage with a rapist/murderer if they are unGodly, and dating and courtship can lead to happy marriages. But who knows the children more than the parent if they are in a Godly home? The UNGodly don’t have to get married as far as I’m concerned. It’s a God centered institution after all. Let them be hot or cold, let them be as heathenistic… heathenastic… forget it, bad as possible so that the simple may have a clear choice between good and evil. As for me and my house, we will choose the most Biblical way, not because of some self-righteousness that says we are more holy than you, but because we like God’s examples better than the “reformed” self-righteous path to holiness. Strange considering I’m reformed… I think so anyways. Bring on the rants, I still want to address this issue, but I’m tired for now. Screaming internally does that.

The Facts about “Health Care” … maybe.

Caleb Blume — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 21:44:10 +0000

Hello, my fans! (Two counts as plural.) It is time again for my totally relevant rants about the world and the way it works. Today’s target: “health care.” What is “health care?” Caring for health? Healthy caring? To care healthily? Let’s find out! In order to do this, I am going out on a limb here and breaking one of my rules. I shall actually quote someone and not paraphrase. Fear not, it might be out of context. “Approximately $18 million worth of stimulus money went to Americans who are dead.” Whoops! wrong quote. “Stimulus funds not helping health research, study shows.” Um, getting closer, but still not quite. “$162 million in stimulus funds not disclosed.” Fine! I’ll do stimulus money this time. Sheesh. The news reeks of this stuff.

Yeah, yeah, so our tax money that we gave the Fed to give back to us is kind of missing, or in the Twilight Zone, as I like to say, but we all know where it is, so why are we so surprised? I mean, this is what politicians love to do, right? Same thing would have happened if “Conservative” Reps. had been in office. Let us remember who nationalized the banks. That’s right, D.H., I’m talking to you! Anyways, I didn’t want to talk about the “P” word (olitics) , so I won’t.

Now, back to health care. Where’s that quote? “Stimulus funds for Social Security recipients such as seniors, disabled persons, or veterans could get a $250 stimulus payment pending Congress’ approval of a measure backed by the Obama administration.” Yeah! Wait, wrong one. Oh well, at least seniors, disabled persons, or veterans could get a few hundred bucks out of this deal. Makes everything seem worthwhile! I mean, how could the world possibly get any better?

Man, these quotes are so unreliable. I can’t find any to talk about health care. Let me try again. “Federal stimulus money means the Charleston school district won’t need extra booster club funding – at least not this year – and could avoid budget cuts like the district went through earlier this year.” Oh goody, Charleston school district can wait a year before firing all of their teachers, thanks to drowning the economy in taxes. My life has purpose and meaning at last.

I’m not going to try to many more of these. “The Federal Highway Administration funded all $27.5 billion of its economic Stimulus Funds for highway and bridge projects by its Sept. 30 deadline.” “Some of the $203 million in stimulus funds provided to the Internal Revenue Service through last year’s Recovery Act are at risk of being misspent due to continued problems with contract oversight, according to a new government report.” “The Great Recession is over.”

That tears it! I’m never going to quote from these loser news sites again. All the AP can think about is “stimulus funds this,” and “stimulus funds that.” The last quote should tell us it doesn’t matter anyways, right? We’re in the green and everything is gonna be alright. Well, sorry everyone. Maybe we can talk about health care next time, and how the stimulus funds are boosting it so much.

No Power Since 2002… B.C.

Caleb Blume — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 13:19:01 +0000

Good morning, my friends! And if you are not my friend, don’t tell me, I like a false sense of security. Today, we head to the middle east, but not about the war. This is serious! In Afghanistan, after years of rebuilding, many still do not have electricity! We know this, because the news tells us… and they probably lost power in the stone age. I know that the media would love to blame that on the war and all, but facts are facts, the middle east has never had much power. Trust me on this. In fact, war has been going on over there since the stone age as well. Ah, bring me back to the good old days when Muslims killed Islamies instead of teaming up on Europe. But never mind about that, let’s get back to sappy journalism. Why on earth are we “rebuilding” when the war is still destroying? On top of that, why are we “Rebuilding” things that never were built in the first place? Police: “Hello, we’re sorry your car was destroyed smashing into that man, but we’re going to put it back together again and give you a sixteen story mansion to boot.” Serial killer: “Thank you officer, I assure you this will happen again.” Does this make any sense? But now this has turned from a history lesson to a rant, so I suppose I should get back on track. What are the journalists thinking when they cry over spilled milk from when Rock and Roll was a kids game? “Oh, they don’t have power! Oh, they are so hurt by the war! Oh, dear, we have to build them condos!” It makes me sick, really. Not that they live well, because they don’t. All I’m say is this joke which is particularly funny. So a blind guy decides to drive a car, but, of course, gets into a wreck. Now, he thinks he’s going to be in big trouble, but the doctor comes in and sounds downcast. “What is it, what’s wrong?” They blind man was worried. “I’m sorry,” the doctor says, and the blind man’s heart sinks, until he hears, “But you have lost your sight.” The blind man plays it cool, “Oh, good Lord!” So, they let him go with a rental car and a huge insurance check. Point made.

Looking out for you,

Caleb

What are they Building, an Ice-cream Tower?

Caleb Blume — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 01:55:22 +0000

Good morning America! Time to wake up and smell the Turkish coffee. I know this is a late report over old news, but… ahem, “Republican candidates around the country seized on President Barack Obama’s support for the right of Muslims to build a mosque near ground zero, assailing him as an elitist who is insensitive to the families of the Sept. 11 victims.” Oh boy, what to add, what to add? Well, we all know that it’s an outrage what the Muslims are doing, as well as our current President. And what he’s doing. However, I feel no need to add to this fact because… well, we all know it. So, instead, let me yell at you, “Republican candidates around the country,” because you are all losers. No, you are no worse than what we got, but you still are losers. Tell me something, you are all against this thing, right? So where are you twerps? “Republican candidates?” Where is the stand, the names, the weird extremists laying down in the job sight to stop production that are so fun to watch on TV? There we go, Andrew Harris! What did he say? “He is thinking like a lawyer and not like an American…” Yes, we know lawyers are not real Americans, or even real people for that matter, but where is the outrage, the fight, the “Get off my lawn,” attitude? All I hear is more lawyer talk. No, I don’t think guns are necessary, I just think a good protest wouldn’t kill anyone. In fact, we have not had a good protest in ages it seems, and this sounds like the type of thing that needs one. Think about it this way: what would happen, say, terrorists come and blow your home up with your family and friends inside, as well as a good bit of your neighbor’s family. Now picture me patting you on the back and saying, “Don’t worry, your insurance company said the terrorists were covered, and your money will be used to make a statue in honor of their sacrifice.” What would you tell me? What are the “republican candidates” saying? The equivalent of, “I’m so ticked off right now.” Well, sorry, but that doesn’t make me jump up and down, laying palm leaves at your feet. In fact, I feel ticked off at you. So, my dear “republican candidates,” with or without names, get on the ball, be a leader, do something. Leaders are supposed to love those who they rule. Love is a verb, an action, and all I see is words. Words without action are empty and void. So to end this little rant of mine, don’t rebel, protest. It’s what makes up a healthy society.

Lovingly stated,

Caleb, your gentle politician hater.

The other side of the continent.

Caleb Blume — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 04:43:38 +0000

Before I begin, a disclaimer: any view I write can not be blamed on me even though it is completely my responsibility. I disclaimed it, so it’s true. Deal with it. Anyways, moving on, I, the sarcastic narcissist, the hating red-head, the Irish Romanian, have decided to rant about hockey, Canadian hockey.

“Canada’s top Olympic official sees no reason to worry about the women’s hockey team’s beer-swigging, cigar-smoking celebration of its gold-medal victory over the U.S. team.” says VANCOUVER, British Columbia. (AP)

First off, I just want to say how I appreciate the fact that they don’t worry over hockey-women, who are masculine already, and the fact that they swig beer and smoke cigars. So… why did this make news? Why does any of the Olympics make news anyways? Sure, it’s entertaining to see girls smash each others’ teeth out with a stick, but why report it on televised news when everyone had already it on televised programs. “Just in case you didn’t see it the first time, let’s show it again with back story.” I hate mainstream media almost as much as I hate Canadian hockey chicks! Why would girls do that? Don’t they know they look like men when they wear those big suits?

And another thing, why are all the headlines in Bulgaria about women’s hockey? You’d think they could talk about their pollution, their communism, their stupidity, anything! But nooo! They have to focus on meaningless news and pretend it’s okay. At least this post has a purpose. It’s to rant. Mission accomplished.

So, yes, that was a while ago. Let’s move on to “current events.” Like the health care thing. It passed, right, or it’s about to? Same thing applies. It will not—but should I say it? I guess I already have—MATTER! So we’re more Socialist than we were yesterday. Big deal. Why make news out of it? We know we’re becoming the new Nazi party; stop telling us the step by step updates. It has no purpose. If I were to write news, and I don’t, I would only tell news when there was news to tell. That is probably why I would be out of a job in minutes.

So, that was my rant for the evening. I’ll expect that I offended at least one poor Bulgarian. Just remember; I disclaimed, therefore I’m safe… right?