From Wednesday night to Friday afternoon a couple weeks ago, I worked almost exclusively on a paper proposal (abstract) for my History Colloquium class. It was the sort where you have to have your topic, sources, thesis and supporting argumentation—your paper in all but implementation—already decided and articulated in your abstract. I hadn’t done any work on it until Wednesday. Resultantly, much caffeine and stress ensued, and only four hours of sleep until Friday night.

But wait (as they say), there’s more! When I got home after turning in the abstract, the document was still up on my desktop, and as I scrolled back through it with great satisfaction, I realized that my last-minute margins adjustment to 1″ from the 0.79″ default (stupid, OpenOffice) had seriously rearranged my bibliography indentations. I didn’t end up failing the assignment, but regardless, it caused me no small mental agitation.

Which ultimately led me to recognize again something about how God deals with us in our self-importance. I say recognize again because this is a pattern I’ve observed before, but seem to forget without God’s occasional humbling reminders. Almost like I’m a fallen son of Adam or something. God blesses my endeavors much more than I deserve, given how often I am lazy or unfocused—not exactly working heartily as unto the Lord. But often, as I scramble to salvage the consequences of my own irresponsibility, I give no time to prayer and Bible reading. I neglect those around me. And in God’s mercy, I get flattened. Two verses in closing:

“For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” — Hebrews 12:6 (ESV)

“For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.” — 2 Corinthians 7:10 (ESV)

Sleep, you are cold-blooded, merciless,
an executioner.
You softly slit my throat from ear to ear
into a smile across my neck,
and spill my warm blood onto Calvin or
The Classic Hundred Poems.
Sleep, you are persuasive and insinuating,
loosening my aching ribs.
The caffeine candle lighting up my skull
can only last so long before
it flickers down and
fizzles on the table.
You charm my drooping head
with dark advances,
soft, beguiling.
And at the last you sooth my eyeballs,
burning, frozen orbs.
Forgiving, gentle sleep.

First, I’m a little bit busy. I still don’t consider myself busy by the standards of some of my friends (I have hours and hours of free time, for reals), but it has picked up this year, I think.

Second, I started off this year trying to consistently read the Bible. I don’t think that reading the whole Bible in a year gives you spiritual super powers, although I do think that all of the Bible is worth reading. Also, I think the Bible is worth reading every day. The way I think about it right now is read it every day, get back to it if you missed it, don’t commit suicide or have insecurities if you don’t read the Bible in a whole year. Not that I always do all that but that’s how it’s laid out in my mind right now.

Third, I want to start working out a bit this year. I want to start out with the one hundred push ups training program. It sounds like a very doable, macho, and cool regimen. I did the test several days ago and hit 20. Sad, but it leaves a lot of room for improvement, that being the point of this paragraph. And I haven’t started yet. I blame this weekend (went to Moscow, had Collin over, went to a fireside chat (lame fire… way too low), went to a contra/square dance, went to a missions-themed Sunday School and church service today, ate at the fellowship feast afterwards, and set in on a couple videos and some Q & A. And did some clean-up following that.). That being said, I’m planning a Tue-Thur-Sat schedule for it, so we’ll see how it goes this week.

Fourth, as I think I’ve said before, I want to get some more writers writing here. But here’s the idea I want to get across: it’s not exactly volunteer but it’s not paid and it’s definitely not an internship. I think it is most easily communicated as “I just want to get some friends together and write a sweet blog. And get conversations going.” So hopefully we can get a more official (but not more formal) statement out on that in the near future.

Fifth, leading on the heels of the last para, I’m hoping good things for this blog. It’ll be awesome if we get more writers and I’m looking forward to putting some more effort into writing (I’m thinking post-graduation-from-high-school, which happens early this June). I’m thinking Senior Thesis class may have some redeeming qualities… Anyway, I want to have a discussion with Matthew sometime soon about what he thinks about the blog (past, present, future, probably with emphasis on the last).

Sixth, speaking of school… I almost want to skip this whole graduation thing. I say to myself that I’d be quite happy with a regular end of the school year and beginning of summer. I don’t really know if that’s true. However, best not to dwell on that because I really doubt I’m getting out of this. I am to have a hand in planning it, though, so I can flaunt my influence there (what value it has). And Anna and I are both hoping the other will be valedictorian. Except I think I secretly want to be valedictorian because I keep catch myself writing bits of a speech in my head. Blast.

Seventh, the 29th of December was a bit of a nice date for our family. Finally we got a decent internet connection. Stuck with dial-up for over 10 years. And then finally broadband. Fitting for 2010 I’d say. I think a post relating to the topic may be expected in the future.

I believe that’s all for now. Also, a public thanks to you, Matthew, for your well-written recent posts. While it’s true I’ve always written more posts, I have felt the quality of your posts was very often rather splendid while it was not always so much that way with mine.